Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes

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(614): you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes http://tfl.nu/g514

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined

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(609): I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined http://tfl.nu/fupt

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(210): View more from Texas

I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.

(1-210): View more from Texas

I love milkshakes.

(210): View more from Texas

Not the point.

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(210): I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat. (1-210): I love milkshakes. (210): Not the point. http://tfl.nu/tb5t

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(803): View more from South Carolina

you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.

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(803): you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila. http://tfl.nu/o38m

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(304): View more from West Virginia

just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.

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(304): just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement. http://tfl.nu/6va8

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(+81): View more from

Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me

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(+81): Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me http://tfl.nu/yr11

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(407): View more from Florida

Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?

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(407): Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening? http://tfl.nu/psmr

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(703): View more from Virginia

i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.

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(703): i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon. http://tfl.nu/dn2m

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(654): View more from

And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.

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(654): And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out. http://tfl.nu/4u7j

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(845): View more from New York

Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way

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(845): Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way http://tfl.nu/6bq1

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(850): View more from Florida

His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.

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(850): His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend. http://tfl.nu/ofwy

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(360): View more from Washington

I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.

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(360): I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line. http://tfl.nu/9tdh

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(631): View more from New York

He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.

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(631): He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims. http://tfl.nu/mqeu

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(216): View more from Ohio

I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex

(216): View more from Ohio

Never mind I found pizza just bring sex

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(216): I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex (216): Never mind I found pizza just bring sex http://tfl.nu/1kkn

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev

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(270): Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev http://tfl.nu/bqo9

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