Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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