you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
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The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
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They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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