We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize