sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
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Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
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