how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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