If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
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THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
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Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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