Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize