Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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