i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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