What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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