We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize