Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
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I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
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You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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