i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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