A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize