I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize