I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
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Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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