I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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