The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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