In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize