I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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