It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize