ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
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I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
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The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
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