This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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