Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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