you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize