there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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