The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are going to name an STD after you.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize