no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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