From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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