I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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