I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Say something about gay babies.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize