dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize