I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize