Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize