Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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