Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize