Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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