ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize