The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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