I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize