I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize