'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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