HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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