oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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