i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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