I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
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It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
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Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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