Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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