I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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