Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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